Today, I’m inexplicably feeling nostalgic about the past. It’s a funny thing. I believe that the past and the tough decisions you have to make shape you into who you are in the present. I’m reasonably satisfied with who I’ve become; there’s always room for improvement. There are very few decisions I truly, truly regret. One of them, however, is how I handled you.
You shaped me in so many ways, some good and some bad. I wouldn’t be who I am without you to talk to and joke around with and confide in. At the same time, though, when I decided to selfishly abandon you, I made another decision that would change me as a person, and the trajectory of my entire life. I didn’t look up to you anymore, or ask you for advice, or try to be you. I had to become my own person. So I did.
I don’t know whether or not it’s okay to regret that decision, because in some ways it means I regret who I’ve become. I miss you though. Both you and I are completely different people now, I’m sure, and I don’t even know if we’d get along anymore. Sometimes I look around or talk to people and remember you, and it hurts. I haven’t met anyone that I’ve clicked with quite as much as I have with you. You were my best friend in the whole world.
I never tried to replace you, though. I know I never could.
I still don’t think I’m ready to try.
I know we’ll never see each other again, but I hope you’re well. And thanks for everything.